my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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