well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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