It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
