You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
