I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he puts the penis in happiness.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
