she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
