While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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