Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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