U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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