There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
