Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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