I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
