he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
