we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
