Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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