Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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