So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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