Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
