I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
