He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
