HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
