I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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