Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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