So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
