you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
