I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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