doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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