I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
