You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
