So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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