Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
