is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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