Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
