i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize