Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize