guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
