Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize