Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
