Christians are straight up FREAKS
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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