What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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