Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
