Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
