she kept yelling 'call me bella'
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
