like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We need to get me chipped asap
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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