How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
