I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
