she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
