I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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