she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
