i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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