wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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