some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
