definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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