i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
