another moral hangover. fuck.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize