Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize