After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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