I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
