talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
